


The Holy Grail of Firepower

by JohnJoestar



Category: Doom (Video Games), 英雄伝説 閃の軌跡 | Sen no Kiseki | The Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack Crossover, Crack Relationships, Crossover Pairings, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This, Kiseki Rarepairs Month, Other, Sen no Kiseki III | Trails of Cold Steel III Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24028042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnJoestar/pseuds/JohnJoestar
Summary: "A 'little'? Your whole family goes nuts for this kinda stuff!"
Relationships: Tita Russell/BFG9000
Comments: 9
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A few weeks ago, I commissioned [this piece of art](https://twitter.com/friar_art/status/1255553928134979584) from [friar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/friar/pseuds/friar). It inspired this fic, just in time for Kiseki Rarepairs Month.

“H-hello again,” Tita Russell stuttered as she strode into the small workshop, her face burning as she beheld the majestic form of the other occupant. She leaned in for a kiss, but pulled away at the last moment.  _ No...I can’t possibly… _

Instead, she settled for gently caressing her new friend’s sleek powerful curves and robust frame. She wanted to go for a soft touch, lest she break anything delicate. Yet the temptation to go  _ further _ persisted. Giving in to her desires, Tita shot forward and planted a kiss.

* * *

When news broke around Campus, the petite blonde engineer had hardly batted an eye. Class VII discovering an unconscious man during a field study, surrounded by what had clearly been several trusted “friends”? She had figured it was nothing worth getting distracted over. For starters, it had been another class’ concern. Second, someone out cold was the infirmary’s problem and not the concern of an upcoming Orbal engineer such as herself. She continued to keep herself occupied with her studies and technical work, paying no further attention to school gossip.

Until Juna and the others lugged  _ everything _ into the hangar for safekeeping. Any protests Tita had in her mind were quashed by the revelation that it was Professor Schmidt himself who wanted Tita to examine the unconscious visitor’s companions, all of which turned out to be weapons. None of them were of Zemurian origin to boot! Despite some concerns about the added workload, Tita was not the type to back down from a challenge especially when unknown technology was concerned. After taking a quick lunch break, Tita got to work.

* * *

Tita's eyes welled up with tears of joy. Beholding the majestic monstrosity felt like being in the presence of Aidios herself. Its solid bulk silently whispering of the prowess, the capacity for violence.

Tita couldn’t take it anymore. She had only used her hands for the past day. It was time for something more...intimate. Something that would allow her to get a better feel for...it? Him? Tita didn’t know anymore. Calling such a majestic specimen “it” was an insult. Biting her lip, she mounted it like a horse made of steel and titanium. Her thighs felt cold as she straddled it, and she shivered partly out of the cold but mostly out of delight.

“Oh, Goddess…” Her face began to burn. “Thank you, Aidios…”

* * *

What she had discovered amazed her.

For starters, none of the weapons used Orbal Energy. In fact, most of them relied on gunpowder to propel their deadly payloads while others appeared to use an energy source that was closely related to Orbal Energy but  _ not quite. _ Aside from the double-barreled shotgun with a wicked-looking two-pronged bayonet, the weapon that caught her attention the most was the  _ big _ gun that gazed at her with a warm green light. As if inviting her to come closer. Mouth agape, she trudged towards it, wishing that she had been entrusted with the weapon instead of the comatose visitor.

It had been love at first sight.

* * *

“B...F...G…” Tita reverently read off the lettering along the weapon’s spine, her deft fingers gently tracing them. “Nine thousand.”

She wondered what it stood for. Somehow, she guessed that the name would make her mother brush with embarrassment and fury. Gasping and blushing, Tita wriggled along the weapon even as the various protruding surfaces dug into her bare thighs and under her skirt.  _ Just to have a better look. Nothing else. _

She was so preoccupied with the BFG that she failed to notice the heavy clanging footsteps that drew closer and closer. Not until a hand clamped on her shoulder. Tita yelped in horror as she slid off the BFG only to be gently caught by the same metallic hands. The owner gently let her down before retrieving the BFG from the pedestal. He glared at her for a brief second before turning his attention to the weapon, seemingly examining it for any damage. Tita’s breath caught in her throat, and she wondered if that’s what Agate always felt whenever he visited her home back in Zeiss. The BFG’s stirred to life in the stranger’s hands, exposing a central cylinder that brilliantly glowed green.

A hoarse grunt shook Tita out of her reverie. The weapon’s owner jerked his head towards the exit as he handed the weapon to her. Tita couldn’t help but grin widely as she took in the sign of approval and snatched the BFG with a little more force than she had intended. The BFG’s actuators and servos purred and whirred with a hypnotic rhythm in her grasp. Tita knew better than to ascribe a personality to machines (Valimar aside), but she could swear the BFG liked her as much as its owner.

* * *

Tita always told herself that she saw Agate as nothing more than a brother. That notion was finally confirmed when the BFG (in her own hands, no less) let loose a powerful discharge, her golden locks billowing behind her from the blast. The green miniature sun shot towards a training dummy and ended up obliterating a large chunk of the woods surrounding it. Had Tita fired inside Einhel Keep, the unholy ball of raw destruction was surely powerful enough to seriously damage the fortlet if not destroy it outright.

For the first time in her life, Tita knew she was truly in love.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest, I've wanted to do a second chapter (that also serves as an epilogue) ever since I posted the fic. Today was the day where all the conditions were right for it.

The Stranger didn’t stick around for long. He disappeared off of the face of the Campus, maybe even all of Zemuria, before summer rolled around. But it was enough time for Tita to spend some quality time with her beloved BFG and get acquainted with every single detail.

Enough time to unlock the secrets of _his_ inner workings and get enough data to reverse-engineer another BFG. One that was powered by Orbal Energy, so he could remain as her cherished companion for the rest of her life; the Joshua to her Estelle.

 _I can’t wait until I can show Renne this._ The thought circled around Tita’s mind as she worked tirelessly through evenings and weekends, channeling her mother’s maniacal passion for all things technology-related. Professor Schmidt’s criticism soon faded, replaced by a sense of satisfaction.

Then by mild curiosity and concern.

None of that mattered to Tita. The Stranger’s disappearance did put a damper on her efforts for a day, but she only worked harder afterwards. Eager to bring her treasure, her beloved, back to Zemuria once more.

She barely paid attention to Instructor Rean and Major Arundel’s calls for help dealing with some sort of problem in the sewers of Heimdallr. _Agate can handle it. He’ll be fine._

By the time the BFG was recreated, the damage was done. The Great Twilight had been unleashed, Ouroboros had won, and Instructor Rean had been kidnapped.

She might have been too late to stop Instructor Rean’s abduction, or the death of his dear friend Millium, but Tita still had enough time to seek vengeance against Ouroboros. Finally, the people who had terrorized Liberl and made the lives of Joshua and Renne a living hell will pay.

After bolting the BFG onto her Orbal Gear, Tita began the field tests…

* * *

**Weeks later…**

The blinding green light shot forth from Tita’s Orbal Gear, vaporizing all the monsters and Archaisms Ouroboros had brought with them to invade the Pentagruel. Tita smirked as she surveyed the damage, as well as gauging the shocked gasps and expressions from the allies behind her. Then, she drew a deep breath, preparing a line she had rehearsed for days in front of the mirror, a line she had overheard…

“RIP AND TEAR!!!”

“Huh?” Tita turned her head as she turned her head. The battle cry that she thought only she knew came from none other than Estelle herself. Her honorary big sister’s face was contorted in a grimace, her crimson eyes blazing with malice and bloodlust.

“Aww, crap…” One of the Jaegers said before the girls charged, with Estelle and Tita leading at the front.

_Groovy._

As Tita joined in on Estelle’s rampage, with the others following suit, she wondered in the back of her mind if the Stranger left a bigger mark than she thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic may or may not be a proof of concept for something else...

**Author's Note:**

> To get a better feel for the story, I got really drunk and listened to [a dramatic reading](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3D9uPto6-aM) of the glorious Doom comic on repeat.
> 
> On a more serious note, the whole situation surrounding COVID-19 continues to mess with my writing. I needed to write this as a way to reset my mind for DDBB's next chapter.


End file.
